I've never really had many people to grieve passing away. My grandma and my dad's best friend are the only 2 people close to me that have passed away. Losing your own child doesn't compare to anything I've ever felt before.
Today, I tried getting my life back to normal since my mother is back home and I'm back to taking care of Joey by myself. We did our normal daily activities, but I kept finding my mind drifting from one subject to another. I still can't concentrate. It's like I suddenly have ADD or something.
So, Joey and I went out this morning to BJ's Wholesale Club to get diapers and other things we need in bulk. I walked around the store in a haze. I also bought Pirates of the Caribbean 2. We came home and I put the movie in. I couldn't even sit down to watch it during Joey's nap. I could barley watch my favorite soap opera. I couldn't do housework. My mind can't stay on one subject.
My appetite keeps coming and going. I'm only wanting to eat junk food, nothing healthy. I want to sleep all the time.
I know my hormones are extremely off whack and I'm sure that's the reason behind this. Writing this, I keep thinking of other things to write, but they make no sense. I'm trying so hard to cope, but it's so hard. I know it's affecting my husband and Joey too, I'm trying to stay strong for them, but it's hard. I know I need time to grieve, but it's so hard.