Friday, December 01, 2006

Still lost...

The past couple days have gone by easier than what I expected them to. I still feel lost at times. I've been losing my train of thought and can't focus on what I'm doing. My mind just keeps wandering.

I was looking so forward to having a baby in July. My two best girlfriends are both pregnant and the three of us were all due in the first two weeks of July. Now it's just the two of them pregnant. I was so excited for us to have our babies around the same couple of weeks. Now we're not. That makes it even harder for me.

I know it's been a lot easier on me since I was only 7 weeks pregnant. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts. It hurts a lot, in fact it hurts like hell knowing that I lost a baby, but it would have hurt a lot more if I would have been showing and felt the baby move.

I'm so grateful that my mom was able to fly up here to be with me. I was so scared to go to the hospital without my mom. Thank God, she was able to catch the first flight out Tuesday morning in time to go to the hospital with me. She's been a huge help with Joey so I've been able to take it easy and not do all that much. I've even been spoiled with a couple of my favorite meals that she fixes! What would I do without my mother?!

Today we even went out for lunch and then to the mall and went shopping for a little bit. We found a couple cute outfits for Joey and even a Christmas gift for my husband! It felt good to get out and try to get my life back to normal.

8 comments:

GrannyGrump said...

Hugs.

Connie said...

hugs to you

Miranda said...

Oh Jess, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

LeslieAnn said...

Sending you hugs from across the miles...

Give yourself time and grieve- regardless of how far along you were you have experienced a loss. A very great loss.

Thinking of you.

Leslie

Michelle said...

I agree with Leslie that you need to give yourself the time to grieve and heal...you still experienced a loss no matter how far along you were. It must have been so comforting to have your mom there. Hugs to you!

mum2brady said...

Jess - big hugs being sent your way. I'm glad your mom could be there with you - I know I always feel better when my mom is around ;) I think it is normal and natural to grieve, like the others have said. Thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....

Overwhelmed! said...

Jessica, I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I'm offering up prayers for you and your family.

causa nostra laetitiae said...

Jessica, I've lost three babies to miscarriage, and I feel your pain! I still remember them with an ache in my heart, especially on their birthdays in Heaven.

I am SO grateful for my three little girls here on earth, my youngest, Christina has DS, and I would have another if I could. Just hold Joey close and cry when you have to.

I'll keep you in prayer.